In-Aeternum.net

Hello all my lovely friends who still drop by here. I know I havent been here for a long long time. I must say, I kinda pulled away from this place, for some reason I associated it with Rob, and I think that was a big mistake. I was considering getting a new domain name, but I don’t really want to. I like In-Aeternum. So I have decided to come back, and restart!

So ALOT has happened:
1. I have started burlesque/cabaret performance. My stage name is Bella Bee Sweet I have my own performance website if you would like to have a look and show me some love: http://bellabeesweet.com

2. I have managed to score an amazing job at Sydney Theatre Company as Marketing Assistant which is pretty sweet.

3. I will be finished with my Masters of Commerce, Marketing in one week!!

4. I have been offered a job to teach Marketing Communications at Sydney Uni for the next six months.

5. I am moving house! I am moving in with my best friend, the beautiful, amazing wonderful Suzi.

6. I have started modelling (WHAT??) – you can have a look at my portfolio here: http://bellabeesweet.foliohd.com/

7. I have been invited by the Dean of Business at my uni to join an exclusive honour society called Beta Gamma Sigma which is a world wide society for individuals who have achieved academic excellence (omg!!)

Yeh so that is the quick version of how my life has changed! I plan on making a new layout once I move house next month, and hopefully in-aeternum.net will have a well deserved and long awaited face lift! I hope that you are all well!

Hello all. I know I have been MIA for some time, it was unplanned, however somewhat necessary. In the space of a month EVERYTHING has changed. Ok, perhaps not everything, but so much that I barely feel like me anymore. So here is a quick recap for you:

1. Most significantly, Rob broke up with me. It has been the hardest time I have ever lived through. Harder than any operation I have had. The rug was metaphorically pulled from under me in a heart beat. The reasons were probably the best they could have been. He is up and down and can’t put 100% into the relationship. He needs to work out who he is and where he is going, and most importantly, what he wants in life. And I only got in the way of all those questions. So, you see, it is really for the best. And I respect him so much for being honest about this. The timing however, I am less impressed about – the night before my birthday! It hurt so very much.

2. I turned 24! It was a very difficult birthday, given the circumstances. My poor family tried to make it good for me, taking me out for lunch and then a picnic by the river for cake and tea. But I just sobbed through the whole thing. Rob was meant to be there and his absences stung.

3. This whole situation hasn’t been all bad though. I have made a pledge to get to know myself and to commit to a better life. So I have joined a women’s gym which I am really enjoying and I have started a diet. I also started a gratitude/progress journal and I plan to get more into my sewing, my singing and own peace of mind. I also discovered throughout this whole thing that I have very little of my own life. All my weekends were filled with plans with Rob and his family and friends. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a part of my life, it was that I simply didn’t have a life to share with him. I just integrated into his world and that was who I became. I am not going to make this mistake again. It is time for me to build my social network, my hobbies, my career and my life. And that starts with the end of the tears and the start of smiles. I made that decision on Thursday that just passed and so far so good. Sure, I get down and sad when I see a photo of him or something that reminds me of what my life was only a few weeks ago. I miss it. I would lie if I said that I don’t. I miss his family and his house and I miss his warm smile and embrace more than I have ever missed anything, but I can’t dwell on that.

I guess the big lesson in all of this is no-one is there forever. You have to be ok on your own. To place your happiness in the possession of someone else is just foolish and that’s not who I am and not who I want to be.

I leave you with a quote:

“Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Last night Rob and I went to see Cirque Du Soleil‘s show Saltimbanco at the Acer Arena here in Sydney. It was really incredible! The things that those performers can do with their bodies! They are like rubber!! And they are so strong.

My favourite acts were both aerial acts, the first was two girls on a flying trapeze. They were magnificent, twirling, falling, jumping, slipping around each other, two-three stories high!! A few times, I gasped when they would fling their bodies in such a way that I could just imagine the feeling of adrenaline that they would be feeling. You can check out a video of this act here.

The second was four performers on elastic ropes in which they flung themselves in a performance that can only be described as ballet in the air. It was so incredibly beautiful and fluid. It was dream-like. You can see footage of this act here.

The other performance which really captured my attention was a man and lady with drums. They were playing a drum beat which gets your heart beating to their rhythm and then they performed a poi-esque tap dance. They were moving so fast and the beats created with these poi-like instruments were amazing!! I must learn what they were using and get a pair. I have no idea what they were. If you don’t know what Poi is check this out. This is one of my hobbies!!

Have you ever seen a Cirque Du Soliel show? If so which one? There are about 26 globally on show at the moment, it is incredible. We studied the Cirque business model at uni last semester and I was just so taken by the documentaries ect that we watched that I just HAD to see their show when it came to Sydney. I would have preferred a little less traditional circus and more aerial acrobatics, but none-the-less it was truly incredible and I am so very glad that we went to see the show!!

So a week from now I will be blonde again, and I must say I am so excited!! I was blonde for about five years, which started off as a very dark blonde/light brown and slowly got lighter and lighter until I was crazy light blonde

This blonde was really hard to maintain, as I was having to get it dyed every four to six weeks for $120ish dollars. This led me to dying my hair back to my natural colour being brown. However I have not felt like myself all year!! I miss my blonde hair so much. I identify with it so much more. I will not be going platinum again, but a darker blonde like the photo on the left.

Right now I am back to a brown, as I said. Its a nice brown with a bit of red through it but it just isn’t me! So my current hair colour is:

Is there a hair colour or something similar that you identify with?

My hair idol is Hilary Duff. I have always admired her hair, she always looks so fresh and gorgeous. So this is definitely the type of blonde that I will be aiming for:

Have you ever searched and searched for something, and not just anything will do, but you are looking for something very specific and you will not settle till you have found it?

I just won at that game!

Finally, found a pair of black boots!! I them!!

I feel like I am going through a bit of a rough patch… I am not sure how this started or why, but I just feel like everything is turning upside down and I am really frightened. Things are a bit ‘fragile’ between Rob and I. He is feeling a bit all over the place and I guess it’s really affecting me more than I thought it was. I just feel really unstable. But I guess it is really unfair to pin your happiness and your emotions on someone else, and sadly that’s what I am doing here. I have to learn to be happy regardless of the way my relationships are going. That is so easy to say, but I think in the long run, being happy in yourself is what will keep relationships strong.

I have been reading a book by Benjamin Hoff called “The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet”. Rob lent it to me and it basically explains the concepts of Taoism through the characters of Winnie the Pooh. I definately recommend it to anyone who has a soft spot for Pooh and who is interested in personal balance.

There is a passage that I wanted to share about finding true happiness:

‘Do you want to be really happy? You can begin by being appreciative of who you are and what you’ve got. Do you want to be really miserable? You can begin by being discontented. As Lao-tse wrote: “A tree as big around as you can reach starts with a small seed; a thousand mile journey starts with one step”. Wisdom, Happiness, and Courage are not waiting somewhere out beyond sight at the end of a straight line; they’re part of a continuous cycle that begins right here. They’re not only the ending, but the beginning as well. The more it snows, the more it goes, the more it goes on snowing.’

I think that this is something people need to learn. Happiness is not in some distant place, it’s here and its now. And if you are always striving towards happiness, you will never find it because you have been ignoring it the whole way. This book teaches not to put focus into the happiness of a destination but rather to enjoy the journey, for the journey is the true essence – not the end point.

Yay finally on holidays and I have so much planned yet so little motivation it is crazy!! I have started going to the gym! I have a 30 day membership with unlimited access. So I have done that the last two days. And I have been eating quite well too!! I am feeling better, but I am just so tired from uni I think it will take me a week or two before I feel human again!! But here is my health log so far:

Day 1. Week 1.
Diet
Breakfast: Weetbix (without sugar )
Lunch: Apple
Dinner: Pesto, rocket and semidried tomato pasta
Exercise
15 mins of treadmill
5 mins of bike

Day 2. Week 1.
Diet
Breakfast: Weetbix (without sugar AGAIN )
Lunch: I woke up late so breakfast and lunch was one thing!!
Dinner: Beef stirfry with rice noodles.
Exercise
15 mins of treadmill
6 mins of bike
6 mins cross trainer
20 mins of swimming

Day 3. Week 1.
Diet
Breakfast: English Muffins
Lunch: Yoghurt
Dinner: Don’t know yet…
Exercise
Karate Lesson!!

Yes you read that last one correct. I am starting Karate tonight! My boyfriend is a blackbelt so we struck a deal! I start Karate with him if he starts rock’n'roll and ballroom dancing with me!! Awesome deal right?!

Site news:
Bella Bobbins is going to be back up and running soon – for those of you who don’t know what that is, Bella Bobbins is my sewing/creation blog and collective.
I am also starting to consider opening a pixel site to house my dolls… hmmm..

So it appears that my pixel rose tutorial was a winner, the people over at the Quilting Bee enjoyed it, and thanks so everyone who commented on my last blog post in regards to the tut. I think I am going to have to make some more!! I am getting back into pixeling and its really great, I am enjoying it. Check out my dolls in Visitor Content>Dolls

So at the moment I am meant to be studying . I have an exam tomorrow and another the next day. I am so ready for this semester to be over. My eyes feel like they are about to fall out of my head and I just need a break. I am dying to do some sewing and actually clean my house!! On Friday morning, after my last exam, I am going to sleep in and the night before I am going to bring my kettle into my room so I can make a cup of tea in the morning without actually getting out of bed!! Good plan?? Yes!

I have procrastinated so much with studying for this exam and it made me think of how I could avoid it. Ofcourse, I have done NOTHING to try to avoid procrastination but if I was going to try I would probably do something along these lines:
1. Disconnect the internet.
2. Get someone to hide my car keys so I don’t have to make ‘emergency’ shopping trips all the time.
3. Send my dog to my Mum’s for the week so I don’t need to give her so many cuddles – she’s just too damn cute.
4. Put my computer on a shelf somewhere realllly high and then remove all chairs from my house so I can’t retrieve it to make dolls/pixel goodies.
5. Suspend my facebook, quilting bee, gmail and blog accounts until I had finished just incase I happen to ‘borrow’ someone else’s computer.

It’s just too hard!! I really just want to draw pixels and sleep!! Only two more days, it will be ok!!

I leave you with this great video created by my boyfriend and his friend Steph for Macquarie Uni on how to survive exam/essay writing.

MACro: Vlog 3

I have been pixelling!! I should be study for my finals, but instead I have been making little pixel art. In the process I have volunteered myself to run the pixel group over at The Quilting Bee – It’s called ‘Pixel*Lots’. I wrote a tutorial today to post on there for the members to enjoy and thought it should find a permanent home here too!! If you like pixelling you should really go and check The Quilting Bee out! It is a beautiful little community and we have a lot of fun!!

Click on the image to see the full size tutorial.

The Pixel*Lot group is going to be great and we currently have a teapot pixelling challenge, using this template that I made for the group:

I also joined another group – Authors which is a writing group. My form of writing is blogging (oh and essays ). Katherine, the group admin had us make little press badges and here is mine:

Does all this sound like fun to you?? Come and join?!

It is now winter here in Australia and wow! It is coooold! It is jacket and scarf weather already and I have my heater on full blast. Just so freezing!! But given that my knee is now better and my exams finish in three weeks, it is time to start planning the Winter Life Overhaul that I have been waiting for and I thought I would share my plans with you!!

My favourite things about winter: I really do love winter. I love rugging up and having a yummy hot chocolate while reading a good book. I love the sound of rain pattering down outside and the feeling of cold air on your face when the rest of you is covered in warm clothes. I am quite excited!!

The Body
One of my big focuses, and perhaps the biggest, is to get my body back on track. I have been so sick for a really long time and years and years of a knee that doesn’t function really is not great for the body. So that is my first and foremost priority this winter.
Swimming – I want to be swimming two – three mornings a week – I will start with four laps of the 50m pool and then work my way up. At the end of each session I want to do an extra two laps of the pool just walking, to work on resistance.
Yoga – I am keen to start yoga to get my body moving and stretch out all those poor joints that haven’t been moving at all over the past few years. I am thinking just one session a week for now.
Pilates – After I have spent a few weeks at yoga, I would like to begin pilates. I used to do pilates and I absolutely loved it – it just makes everything feel better as it strengthens the core muscles. So this will be once a week too.
Group Classes I would like to do some other group exercises, but I don’t want to commit to any particular one at this point – I like the idea of Zumba and of BodyCombat.

The Mind
I have been working on my mind a lot over the past few months and I swear it has something to do with my getting better. I am absolutely certain that it is helping me!! Not just with my health but with my emotions.
My healer is away for the next six weeks so I am planning on exploring this area by myself until she comes home.
Meditation – I am hoping to start a meditation course with my friend Suzi and hopefully her sister. I think this could be really useful and it has always been something that I wanted to explore.
Chakras – I have been reading a lot about Chakras and I really want to learn more!!

The Bedroom
Book Shelf – My bookshelf is a mess. I want to pull everything out of it and re organise all the books into colour coordinated blocks!!
My clothes – I have so many clothes that I never wear, it is time for a big clean out!!
Under my bed – I have a mass of stuff under my bed and it has to go! I don’t need all my notes from second year of my undergraduate degree, it’s time for a bonfire!!

Things I want to do this winter
Sewing – I really want to make a bunch of corsets and costumes and I have so much fabric for skirts – must get onto that!!
Dancing – I am hoping to start dance classes with my boyfriend Rob – he said he is keen so I shall hold him to that!!